August 30, 2010

I did, I did!

Meaning I did go bike riding after all :)) unfortunately, just once, since last weekend the weather was not our friend... and it seems to be going downwards from now on. As I say, winter's just around the corner :p
Some picks from the trail:

Otherwise, motivation has returned. You know, that which had gone away. Youpie :)
I don't know how it's going to be during the last month, probably tough.

And I feel like waltzing :) I made a waltz playlist today and I will keep adding to it, but it already contains some real gems. enjoy!

August 4, 2010

Howling at the moon

I am starting to lack motivation. This is really bad - in my case, it means I really want to stop doing that for which I have started to lack motivation. It means I already resent doing that. Untreated, it can build up into hatred.

But I am faced with a moral dilemma now: there are other people involved. How can I tell them I want out? Although by no means irreplaceable, I am a part of the machine. Take one wheel out and it stops working well. I sort of gave my word I will stay with them until the end.

So here I stand, torn between my desire for freedom and my promise. *sigh* The thoughts that go through my head now clamor that people should not make promises or, if they do, those promises should include a "change of mind clause". It's more humane. And more realistic.

Either way, one party is going to be disappointed in this matter. I fear that party will most probably be me.

Sometimes it's really annoying being me.

August 2, 2010


These past two weeks were a bit full - regular schedule work and, after that, 3 hours of painting course every weekday - although I would generally start to lose my patience and gather my stuff after 2 hours and a bit... good thing class time was not a strict matter, so I could leave earlier. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed the course, but 3 hours every day is a bit much when you're already tired from work. I learned how to handle the brush and how to control the amount of water and ink/colour in it, how to make lovely flowers, animals and landscapes appear with just a few carefully placed lines and spots... and I also realised I didn't have the patience and discipline needed to properly master Chinese painting and calligraphy. But it's alright, I never intended to become a master of that. I am simply looking for my own style of expression and I am glad to expose myself to many different techniques and pick up what I like and what I can do... and one day, out of all that mess, something nice will come up. I have no doubt about that.

Peony - Chinese painting class, July 2010

It's so good not to have to do anything. Last weekend was such a time, nothing planned, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Saturday was pretty much house-based, did some washing and made some bread (don't go imagining picturesque dough-kneading and oven-baking, I have a bread-making machine - the luxury of these times; although my hands do enjoy kneading dough, it's a lovely sensation); after all that and some time wasted on the internet, I went and pumped some air into my bike's tyres, adjusted the seat and handle and considered taking it out for a ride on the nearby bike trail. What with me being a disaster at cycling (no practice) and also a lazy-bum and rather afraid of cars, I decided not to take risks and went exploring the bike trail on foot instead, so that I knew what to expect next time I felt like doing it on the bike. The trail is mostly concrete, there are trees, there is countryside, it goes under the railway track and next to the highway and, somewhere in the distance (I stopped at some point), it meets a busy road that needs to be crossed. Then more trees, countryside and so on and it apparently goes around the entire city (I checked it out on the net). After this short walk I returned, sat on a bench and counted my blessings in writing (a very good exercise, maybe I will post it), part of which was done under the umbrella, soft rain pattering on the ground and occasionally sprinkling my notepad.

Sunday was more outdoorsy - after a good, long sleep, I got up (late, of course), had breakfast, wasted some time on the net then decided to take my bike (finally!) and a rug and go the park to read a book on the grass, write, lay in the sun, whatever... as I was getting my backpack ready, a phonecall changed my plans and I ended up spending the afternoon at the pool - some good sunshine (some occasional clouds, too), a little bit of swimming and splashing about in the outdoor pool... then I went home and watered the garden, then M&K came over and helped me mount the last door on the Ikea wardrobe in my hallyway (it's been missing for ages, when I bought the doors I picked up only one pack of hinges, absent-minded me. Then I had the hinges but had to wait for them to make time and come over to help, the door was pretty big and I couldn't do it myself, altough I am a bit of a DIY freak... but height was a problem... heh). And then we went out to eat. And that was it.

Now I am turning around in my head the thought that I have nothing planned for any of the afternoons this week... it tastes good, almost like holiday. Numerous project await my attention at home, in case I get bored and decide to do something more than reading or watching TV or wasting time on the net. Or I could go out. Or just to the park to lay on the grass. Or laze about in an outdoor cafe and stare at people. Or... anything... :D

The post's title reminded me of this funny sketch:

I still have one thing to do, though: I have to take the car* to the dealer for a check-up, she's been making a strange noise (fan belt, most probably)... *sigh*.

*yes, I have a car now :) she (he?) doesn't have a name yet. Still waiting for something suitable/special to pop up.

later edit: rehearsals on Wednesday afternoon... well, at least there will be dancing! :))

July 30, 2010

Dizzying heights

I was talking to my girl M. the other day to share my misery:
- He's too tall and too young for me anyway...
- What's all this nonsense?! There's no such thing!
M. is a great girl, full of warmth and positive insight. And I'm me:
- Well, it's way better than saying I'm too short and too old for him, innit?

Leaving the age thing apart, it's sad to realise you're too short for the love of your life.
I cannot wear dangerously high heels at all times, that is if I don't want to forge a really special relationship with my orthopaedist. Kissing in the absence of props for me to stand on proves to be a bit of a contorsionist's skill for him, whereas I have to stand on tiptoes like a ballerina. And it's still not good enough. Plus, I worry about his spine - all that bending down like that cannot be healthy in the long term. He's already developing a stoop, what with him being so tall compared to the rest of the world and I'm not helping. I don't want to mention other innovative ways we have to find to do things together... and we look rather funny in pictures. Sort of Laurel and Hardy, except I'm not that fat. Only too short by comparison.

Oh well, maybe the next love of my life won't be so damn tall.

July 24, 2010

July 22, 2010

It's not that I don't like work. The problem is it takes away a lot of time from the things that I would really like to do.

Bamboo, Chinese painting class, July 2010

February 17, 2010

Serious stuff roll with a bunch of white grapes

1. MIT is really generous - besides their free online courses, they also have a site where they provide videos of significant events, talks etc. that took place at MIT.

N.B., for those who don't know: MIT = the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, one of the world's best reasearch universities.

2. Michele Woodward shares with us her discovery: the best job interview question ever.

3. I recently discovered TED. And their youtube channel. There are lots of interesting talks there, from an immensely varied range of areas, such as this entertaining talk on "life lessons" from an ad professional.